oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
