Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What did we do last night that was yellow?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We just shotgunned beers for America
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
