she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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