so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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