There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Come back. Shots need mouths.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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