So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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