Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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