And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
