Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
