Say something about gay babies.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
