youre lurking in front of me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize
