i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
