hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
