My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
