just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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