Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
