Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
