I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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