everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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