Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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