The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
