Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
