Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
