Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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