I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
