I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
only if we run a train.
done.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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