Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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