Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
