a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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