I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
