I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
