Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
