a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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