soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
