hell yes lets make some ravioli
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
