Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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