so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
