He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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