But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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