I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
