I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
