Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
