By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
