her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
