he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
