Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
