i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
