Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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