how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize