Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
