Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
