It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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