Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
