Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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