Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
