Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I met the friendliest cop last night
its not stalking. its research.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
