if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize