I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
